I have had to free myself of so much clutter in my life; there was so much stuff that I held on to for so long. Ideas, clothes, notes, papers, friendships/relationships. The thought was that they would reappear back in my life how they left or how I left them. The memory that I held on to was going to magically arrive into reality exactly how I left it. My realization now is that the way they left or dissipated in my life was the way it was meant to be. It is my understanding now, why they were a part of my life to begin with. Which is why now I am free to let go. I chose to free myself from the clutter in my mind and physical space. When doing so I have a sense of relief, accomplishment, and growth.
Just like stuff, relationships and/or friendships work the same way. I haven’t always been the most trusting person, so when friendships are created in my life they mean a lot to me. Few of these friendships have run their course and I have decided to step away from them. Some of these decisions have been the hardest decisions to make. They were no longer serving me in a positive way. Choosing to stay was creating so much anxiety and sadness but the thought of ending them was as if I was giving up. These feelings were just my feelings and not based on any truth whatsoever. The fact was, I wasn’t giving up on anything. I had decided that my relationship with certain people wasn’t serving purpose anymore, for me or them. I had to stay true to myself, my feelings, and not feel guilt for that. That doesn’t mean that all the memories of the great times get erased, it just means that I have chosen to put my relationship with myself first.
